Open Letter to Cancer

Anna.jpgI think I’ve been really good with my diagnosis. It hasn’t scared me, I have only had a few outbursts when it all became a little too much for me, and I don’t fear you, but I think I will survive in the end.

However, did you really have to go after my dog at the same time? As if it’s not bad enough that I will be in the hospital for three weeks or so and will then have to live away from home because of the threats of infection, did you really have to make it so that I will never see my dog again after I leave for the hospital on Monday?

This dog is a survivor and can withstand a lot. I guarantee you she isn’t going to go quietly just because you gave her a really large tumor on her gumline. Sure it’s bleeding every once in awhile, but it really doesn’t seem to bother her, and we all agree she still has some quality of life left. It will take more than this to bring her down. She’s kind of like the canine Valerie Harper.

However, the vet confirmed that she won’t make it until after I’m out of isolation. If she doesn’t go on her own, Jeff will have to put her down when that quality of life is no longer there or when the bleeding becomes more uncontrollable. But it’s going to be really tough on him. We already said goodbye to Mac, Anna’s brother, a few months back, and now he’ll have to say goodbye to Anna without me there.

And of course, Anna joins a whole litany of friends and family who either have or have had cancer. I think, Cancer, that you are making it your goal to touch every single person in one form or another. You can stop, though, at any time. I’ve noticed you.

But know this, Cancer. I will not fear you, and I remain convinced that I will survive our epic battle. This just makes me repeat the mantras even more.

“Cancer sucks.”
“Fuck Cancer.”
“Making Cancer my bitch!”

You will not steal that resolve from me.

5 thoughts on “Open Letter to Cancer

  1. Lori strohmaier says:

    I’m so sorry…as if you don’t have enough to deal with…if there is anything we can do…please let us know…for now…I will just keep the fuck cancer chat going!

  2. Stefanie Cobb says:

    Oh Laura, I am so sorry to see this. I know poor Anna is lost without her precious Mac. I’m sending lots of love and prayers for both of you and your family. My heart breaks with you. May you wrap yourself and sweet Anna in all the love and support of all your friends and family. This year has fucking sucked. Fuck cancer indeed!!!

  3. Thank you to you both. And yes, Anna puts on a tough front, but I know she’s lost without him. She’s definitely a tough old girl, which is why I named her Anna to begin with. It seemed like such a strong female name. But Jeff wanted to call her Indie since we picked up her and Mac in Indiana, so we made her full name IndiAnna.

  4. carolyn ackmann says:

    Laura! You have all the love I can send from this corner. I just knew this piece would be brilliant and hard to read. I cannot wait to see these pieces in your book.
    Heh heh…IndiAnna.

  5. butterflyjms says:

    I am saying lots of prayers! You will kick cancers butt!

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